I am pleased to kick off our 'Overcoming Adversity' series of blogs by introducing you to Mikayla.  I met Mikayla through a friend of a friend and as I have learned more about her one thing has become perfectly clear...she is wise beyond her years and is a young woman for a clear vision of what her future will be.  Read on and learn about her story of overcoming adversity. When you are done, I hope you will accept my invitation to provide Mikayla with comments & words of  encouragement about her story and her goals.

Yours in Positivity~
Lanette

In December of my senior year of high school my mother had a stroke. Subsequent tests revealed that she had several tumors in her brain caused by terminal metastatic lung cancer.  Her prognosis was that she had weeks, maybe months to live. I’ll never forget the day in January we were told that mom was going to die. After we were given the news, my brother Matt and I went to donate blood. I will always remember the view I had as I laid on my back, staring out the window up at the rooftops of the buildings around us, peering into the sky, trying to prepare myself for what was going to happen.

I wish I could say that we made the most of the time we had together but we didn’t. We were all depressed, angry at the world for what was happening and in denial that it was happening at all. We spent most of our time not knowing what to say or how to say it. I had to finish school through correspondence because I was at home taking care of my mom. When I walked at graduation, my mom was back in the hospital for another surgery. After that surgery, the amount of care that she needed became too much for my brother and I, so mom was sent to a nursing home. Six months after diagnosis, my mom passed away at the age of 56.

It’s been three years since my mom passed. The loss of my mother has transformed me from a feisty teenager into a kindhearted young woman. Although these past few years have been beyond difficult, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned. I am more empathic than I ever could have been without this loss. I am compassionate beyond my years. I cherish every moment, every person, and every sign from the Universe letting me now I’m on the right track. I believe that we are meant to connect to each other, to help one another, and to learn all that there is about love, gratitude, and kindness. We’re all on this journey together. My newfound optimism has inspired me to spread the message of kindness across the United States from a blue, biodiesel school bus accompanied by people that I love dearly. I truly believe that we all have something to teach one another, but first we must learn it for ourselves.

About the author:
My name is Mikayla. I live in Conway with my brother, our two dogs, one cat, and three ferrets. I enjoy kayaking, picking blueberries and making great friends. I will be traveling around the U.S. on a big blue bus next spring spreading the message of kindness: being kind to yourself, to others, and to the earth… and giving out a million free hugs!  To learn more about what inspires me to follow my heart and go on my kindness adventure please visit www.kindnessmiles.com.

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If you would like to contribute to the Overcoming Adversity series please send your submission (500 words or less) to blog@positivitynation.com for consideration.

Beginning in September I will be featuring the work of guest contributors for a special series on Overcoming Adversity.  Please accept this as your personal invitation to participate.  If you would like to have your article considered for publication, please send your submission to blog@positivitynation.com  following these guidelines:

·         Article should be 250 – 500 words

·         Article must be based upon a personal experience of overcoming 
          adversity that has resulted in a positive outcome.

·         Article must be original content that has not yet been published
          elsewhere.  You further agree to provide Positivity Nation™ with
          exclusivity to the article for 30 days from publishing.

Submissions should be provided in MS WORD format and sent as an attachment.  Please also provide a photo of yourself and a brief bio (no more than one paragraph) .  Notifications of publication will be made within 14 days of receipt.

I’m looking forward to reading your stories and providing you a platform to share your experiences -- and inspiration -- with a global audience!

Imagine yourself at the grocery store.

Now imagine that in order to do your shopping you need the aid of a motorized cart.

Take it one step further…

Imagine that to get from the motorized cart (which can’t be taken outside) to your vehicle in the parking lot you must use a walker because you have limited use of your legs.

Can you imagine what an exhausting process this must be?

I had the privilege of helping a woman recently who was dealing with these exact circumstances.  I took her groceries to her car.  During our walk -- short in distance but long in terms of the effort it took for her to get there -- we had a beautiful conversation.

She said, “You know I could complain because I have MS (Multiple Sclerosis) but I don’t.  Those spots they found on my brain could have been cancer but they weren’t. I can still get out. I can still drive. There are a lot of people who have it a lot worse than me. I have a lot to be thankful for.”

Her attitude towards her illness – and life – was really uplifting!

We had the opportunity to talk about MS which for me hits close to home.   A sister-in-law and two dear friends are also bravely living with this debilitating and unpredictable illness.  As we talked she took a genuine interest in how each of them was doing.

Obviously tired from the experience of this “outing”, she still made a point to compliment me on the shirt I was wearing and we talked about how awesome it to find a great sale during one of our rest stops.

She was very appreciative as I placed the bags of groceries in her vehicle.  As I was saying good-bye and getting ready to leave she said, “Let me give you a hug…you are really sweet!” And yes, I accepted her hug…with gratitude.

I feel blessed to have spent those few minutes in the company of this amazing woman. The gift she gave me was priceless.  Her attitude was uplifting…her determination admirable…her kindness towards me was touching…SHE was sweet!

The rest of the day I smiled a little wider, walked with more purpose, and genuinely took time to appreciate how fortunate I am to be in good health.

P.S.

Maybe it was only a coincidence but later in the day when I was reading my local newspaper – the one that features Positivity Nation’s   A Year of Positive Action – I noticed that this week’s action was from week twenty-nine: Give someone a hug! Coincidence or not, it was wonderful to be on the receiving end of this action.

Riding up the gravel road to a little Maine mountaintop provided an unexpected and magical surprise.

The short journey to the top was our specific destination because from that spot there are expansive views. More specifically, my husband and I were following though on a plan we’d had for a couple of years to watch the Canada Day fireworks across the bay in St Andrews, New Brunswick from this spot.

The night sky was clear and the view of the fireworks great. But there was something more to see that night which really amazed me.

Once dusk turned to dark there were thousands of fireflies dancing in the fields surrounding our viewing spot.  Although I grew up in Maine, and even chased fireflies in my youth, I’d never seen anything of this magnitude…this magical. 

And in my utter fascination and child-like wonder I still couldn’t help but notice that others who were also on the mountain barely seemed to notice the show these magnificent little creatures were putting on!  Was it because they were so focused on seeing the fireworks or talking to their friends that they didn’t realize what was happening all around them?  Was it because they had experienced this before? Or could it be they did notice and were too “grown up” to express their fascination? 

I don’t know the answer but I do think this experience provided an interesting parallel to how we sometimes experience our life journey.  Sometimes we are so focused on attaining a particular goal that we pass by the most amazing experiences without even being aware they exist.  We get so invested in what we believe a particular outcome should be that we don’t explore other opportunities placed in our path.  We can be so rooted in our “professional” image that we forget to take time out to have fun.  

What field of fireflies are you passing by? I hope today is the day you take a detour and explore all the wonders that surround you.  What you stumble upon may be even better than what you originally set out to find!

I won’t lie.  I don’t like it when I feel someone is trying to take advantage of me.  It upsets me. I go through a range of emotions and the first several are definitely not positive. I had one of these experiences last week so it is still pretty fresh in my mind.  Thankfully I don’t get stuck in those emotions for very long…though admittedly I can slide back into them pretty easily if I let my guard down!

I am in the process of purchasing a new car…not one of my favorite activities, but the end result is usually worth the aggravation. One particular dealership that I was working with gravely disappointed me when they told me what they would give me for a trade allowance.  I don’t know how they were able to keep a straight face.  I’m not talking about just the “I wish they would give me a little better deal” kind of thing…it was downright insulting. Plain and simple, it felt like they were trying to take advantage of me.  Fortunately, I am an exceptionally informed car buyer and I was able to recognize this situation for what it was.  It gave me a great glimpse into the integrity of the dealership.  Though I liked the salesperson and I REEEAAAALLY wanted the car, I walked away…walked away without any solid prospects of finding the exact car I was looking for anywhere else.

I stayed in the space of being upset about this for awhile (heck, to be honest it still bothers me just to write about it!) BUT there was a moment where I could find something to be grateful for in this situation.  My daughter, who is about to go off to college, has always been inquisitive about practical things… how to balance a checkbook, how credit cards really work, how to cook, how to change the oil in her car, just to name a few.  Like a light bulb going off I was able to see what a wonderful teachable moment this was! I shared the story with her as an example of why it is really important to do your homework when it comes to making a purchase…especially a large purchase.  It was a good lesson to share with her…one that made a much bigger impact than a hypothetical story could. And it was a good lesson for me to find.  It was a good reminder that in every situation there is something for which we can be grateful.  I may or may not get the car but I definitely got the lesson. 

In the middle of an intense writing session the screen goes black, followed by a blue screen flashing an ominous messages, and then…viola’… I’m “home” again.  Home again but without the project I’d been feverishly working on (and forgot to save).

My guess is that a few of you can relate to the frustration of this scenario.  For me it has been a reoccurring event with my laptop.  For months this nuisance has plagued my computer interactions without discrimination... whether I am composing an email, in the middle of research, or typing a report or blog, I can say with conviction this is an equal opportunity disrupter.

It’s not hard to imagine that some of you also may be thinking, “If this has been happening for months why haven’t you had the problem fixed?”  Great question! Thanks for asking!

I took my beloved computer – on two separate field trips - to two different technicians and guess what… neither was able to recreate the issue. Both professionals gave me advice…some which I followed…some that I did not.  On the last visit the tech did not charge me a fee because he couldn’t locate the gremlin causing my grief.  Instead he offered up an invitation for “Mr. Dell” to join him for a little get away…a couple of days to give “him” the opportunity to act up in front of the nice repair man.

That was….hmmmm…at least two months ago. (Time flies!)

Today, like every day, there is a better than average chance that my screen will go black and I will be back at square one.  Most days I cope with this well…other days not so much. But I contend with the aggravation because I am not willing to give up my computer for more than a few hours.  I’m not willing to make the investment in time or enduring the inconvenience that it will take to fix it.  And quite honestly, I don’t think I am going to like what I hear once the problem is identified!  That’s why I continue on with what has become familiar.  Why interfere with the love-hate relationship that has grown between “Mr. Dell” and I?

In case you are wondering, I am fully aware of how absurd this sounds. I am also aware of how this has, at times, paralled other areas in my life.  My laptop saga is not the only “situation” where I’ve applied this flawed logic.  I can also admit to you that I’ve often found it easier to identify this irrational approach in the way others address (or avoid) their issues.  If I had to venture a guess  I'd suspect that you may have been in the "same boat" a time or two.

That being said, I propose an idea…

Let’s make a pact!

Let’s stop the craziness.

Let’s commit to tackle our problems head on.

Let’s give up the status quo of becoming comfortable with the uncomfortableness of the issues in our lives.

Let’s make the investment needed to get things running smoothly again…even if we experience some turbulence along the way.

I’m starting with “Mr. Dell”.  Where will you begin?

A small weathered woman was waiting to speak to me…my next interview appointment.  In an instant you could see she’d had a rough life.  But when she opened her mouth to speak she had the most pleasant upbeat things to say.  So much so, that I didn’t notice that she had no front teeth.

As we sat down to start her interview the first thing she wanted to tell me was that she was self-conscious about not having her teeth.  She went on to explain that her husband had 'smashed her in the face', knocked her teeth out, and broken her nose.  She was living in a shelter and trying to get back on her feet and hoped to get dental attention soon.

It took me a second  -- though it felt like much longer --  to catch my breath, maintain my professional composure, and continue on.

She told me that she had been picking up cans & bottles to make some money but that she really needed a job. In spite of her appearance and her embarrassment of it, she really wanted to work with the public.  She told me she loved being around people…
and I believed her. 

What she said next really struck me:

“I’ve had a hard life but life hasn’t hardened me.”

Sit with that for a minute….

I’ve had a hard life but life hasn’t hardened me.

WOW!

If anyone “deserved” to be hardened and withdrawn it was this woman.  She had gone through physical and emotional pain that no one should ever have to endure. Her life was full of uncertainties. Yet, she was positive and upbeat and hopeful for her future. 

We should all be reminded of these words the next time we are going through a difficult time… the time when it feels like the whole world is against us and we just want to give up… the time when we are hurt by someone we care about and just want to put up walls so we never experience that pain again…the time when we are just plain feeling sorry for ourselves.

I hope you will remember the words of this beautiful soul. Yes, life can be hard. Promise yourself you won’t let it harden you.

In 1989, I was a 21 year-old mother of a 3 year old who was in desperate need of a change of scenery.

The previous year I had gone through a very ugly breakup with my son’s father. As a result of this event I ended up having to quit my job (because I no longer had a means of transportation) which eventually spiraled into being evicted from my apartment.

Fortunately, a couple who I had become friends with at the apartment building had purchased a home and invited my son & I to come live with them. And it didn’t stop there.  My friend managed the front desk at a destination Inn nearby and he offered me a job, helped me find transportation, and his wife provided childcare while I worked.

I LOVED my new job and had gotten quite good at it but the situation in my personal life continued to deteriorate.  I felt I needed to make a drastic change so  I gave my two week notice then went about making plans to move to Florida where my Dad lived.

Nearing my last day of work the manager of the Inn asked to speak to me.  He said he didn’t know the specific circumstances of why I was moving but asked if I was moving to something or away from something. He went on to say that if I was just looking to make a move without a particular attachment to where I was going that there was an opportunity he wanted me to consider. There was an opening for an Assistant Manager position at a “sister Inn” in Vermont.  The position, in addition to being a wonderful promotion (from desk clerk to Assistant Manager!) brought with it a salary increase that amounted to almost double what I was making as well as providing free housing.  Needless to say, I moved to Vermont.

I’ve always been appreciative of the belief that this manager placed in me. He did not know me personally but saw potential…he believed in me when not a lot was going right in my life and  when my self esteem and belief in myself was very low. 

Fast forward to this week... a 43 year-old happily married, modestly successful woman on vacation in New Hampshire with my husband and two of our children.     (Yes, the serendipitous part is coming!)  Due to a number of unexpected occurrences our travel plans changed. Rather than staying farther north at a hotel where we had reservations, we found ourselves looking for accommodations in North Conway, NH.  After doing some internet research and looking at some travel brochures I decided to call a hotel that had fun amenities. The representative who spoke with me on the phone was incredibly helpful and we were able to book a room that was within our budget.

Once we arrived and had finished up our check-in process, a man came around the corner from the back and simply said, “Welcome”.  That was nice, was my immediate thought. Then as my husband and I left the desk area walking back out through the sliding glass doors I said to him, “I think I know that man.  Did you see his nametag?”  He had not. As I went on to say I think that was Tom Spaulding, my manager from when I worked at the Lucerne Inn, my husband was pulling a business card out of his pocket that he’d picked up at the front desk.  It read: Tom Spaulding, General Manager! 

It had been 22 years since I’d seen Tom.  I never saw or spoke with him after leaving for Vermont for the promotion that he made possible. 

We turned back around, went to the front desk, and I asked if I could speak to Tom if he was still nearby.  He was. 

I can’t tell you how cool it was to have the opportunity to connect with Tom but more importantly to have the opportunity to share with him the impact he’d had on me all those years ago.

The chances of ever seeing him again, the chances of us ending up at his hotel, the chances of him walking up just as we were finishing up our check-in process… the odds of winning the lottery were probably better!  Serendipity or by Devine design, whatever you call it I hope it is something that you have the opportunity to experience!

Who are the people in your life who have made an impact but you’ve never been able to thank?  I urge you to make time to send a letter, or make a personal visit if you can, to share how appreciative you are.  Or if, like me, you had no expectation of being able to make that connection, when the Universe presents you with the opportunity take the risk!  They might remember you or not but sharing your story will certainly make an impact on you both!

P.S.

If you are in the North Conway, NH area I would highly recommend staying at the Hampton Inn & Suites.  The staff were knowledgeable & attentive, the accommodations were very comfortable, and the pool area extra fun!  There are two children water slides, two adult water slides, and a hot tub. I think you’ll also be pleased with the free hot/cold breakfast in the morning.  If you stop by be sure to say hi to Tom for me. :)

Ask anyone who has been around me much to share one word to describe me and odds are they’d use ‘creative’.  That sounds like a positive thing, right?  Well today I recognize that it is, but I have to tell you there was a period of time that it about drove me crazy!

Over the years I have been part of many team-building events, workshops, retreats, etc and without fail if an exercise came up where we had to describe each other this was the word I would always hear about myself: CREATIVE.   At first, it was flattering (because I AM creative!) Then as time wore on when I heard this word in the context of describing me, I cringed!  I thought, “What a cop out!  They have nothing else better to say about me?!?! There is so much more to me than that!” I know what you are thinking…and yes, that is a little ridiculous!  At the same time, it is a good demonstration of how the arguments our ‘inner voice’ can stir up sometimes really borders on insanity.

Today I recognize – and embrace – that my creativity is a GIFT.  It is something that makes me uniquely me. What gifts do you possess that you have been trying to distance yourself from?  Just for today, try shifting your thinking.  How can you leverage these talents in a positive way? It may require some out-of-the-box thinking but the clarity you’ll gain will be well worth the effort! And if you are reading this thinking, “ I don’t have any gifts or talents,” my challenge to you is to step back, dig deep, and do some soul searching.  What I know FOR SURE is that every single one of us has a gift…I know yours is there! Make today the day you go on a discovery expedition to find it!

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In the spirit of sharing, here is a creative idea that popped in my head this week that has been a ton of fun to put together.  For those that are participating in International Positivity Jam on February 28th and are still not sure what you could d,o this is just one idea that you may consider.  This project would also be fun to work on as a family, school/church group, or organization of any kind.

Here’s the premise: Tell someone a dozen things you like/love/ admire/ respect about them.

Here is the playful way that I chose to do this for a friend:

I generated a list of twelve words that described what I admired about this friend & plugged them in at dictionary.com to get the “official” meaning of each word.  I copied the definitions into a Word document then printed them out on pastel colored paper.

 I cut each word/definition out then folded it and put it inside a plastic colored eggs then set the eggs in a recycled egg carton.

Lastly, I created a clever “header” to put on the outside of the egg carton that would bring a smile and raise curiosity.